Lying Pig Farmers

February 2, 2014 at 12:52 pm
The main reason why I've had it with Subaru

The main reason why I’ve had it with Subaru

You’ve probably read about my battles with the Fuji Pig, otherwise known as my 2008 Subaru Legacy GT. A big factor in the hate department of my love/hate relationship with the car has been dealing with Planet Subaru, the dealership I trusted to maintain my car while it was under factory warranty. I’m aware that dealership service costs more, but the ridiculous, over the top pricing and customer service aspect is what has upset me the most.

A lube, oil, filter and tire rotation should not cost over 100 dollars. I should be able to wait for the car without having to book the car a month in advance. If have to drop the car off, I expect at least some sort of courtesy shuttle service. I understand that loaner vehicles can’t be given out to everyone, but at least give me a ride to work and back so I don’t have inconvenience everyone I deal with for the day and especially since I’m paying an arm and a leg for basic service.

I dread phone calls from Planet, especially from the service advisor I’ve titled the angel of death. She has this monotone voice and she’s always calling me about some gloom and doom. Normally her gloom and doom is on the untruthful side of things. Back in October I was in for an oil change, I got a call saying my axle boots we’re  leaking and my front axles need a complete overhaul. I did what someone should do when facing a major repair out of the blue like that and took it to a trusted independent mechanic. They took one look at my front axle’s and said, “No, they just need to be lubed up”.

The second lying phone call from the angel of death occurred a few weeks ago, when there was a leak in my fuel lines and was told because it was a safety issue I had to have all the fuel lines replaced because they only came in kit form. While this service was being done I got a phone call saying my brakes had under 2mm of pad left and they should replaced. I told them to hold off on it. I went to my trusted mechanic for an oil change and asked them to look at the pads. I told them Subaru said I had under 2mm left. An hour later I got a call “Hey Jonathan, you have at least 4mm of pad left, you have a few more oil changes before they need to be changed”.

I understand a dealership service department trying to sell work but lying about the replacement of axle boots or wear on brake pads is embarrassing. It’s a real lack of business ethics. Another reason why it’s time to purchase my next vehicle, I will not be stopping at Planet Subaru.

The issue that has been driving me bonkers has been the mysterious CEL light that comes on during cold weather. During cold weather months, not too long after getting in the car and going a bit, when I get to the first stop light, the car acts as if it’s going to stall. The car hiccups but doesn’t stall. Then after a minute or two after driving the CEL light comes on. I’ve had this happen well over ten times. I bring it to the dealership everytime and they can’t find the problem. They clear the code and send me on my way. I let the car run until the blue light comes off so the car is warmed up enough, I’m not jumping in the car in 20 degree weather and going like hell right away.

If I have another major issue come up soon, I’m going to strongly consider getting rid of it, I’m already developing a new car shortlist.

 

 

 

CrapWagon of the Day: Bumpers!

July 23, 2013 at 6:49 am

Crapwagon

Now, our latest CrapWagon is not in horrible shape.  For the most part, the body of the pickup was fair.  But what really caught my attention was the personalized chrome “bling” bumper!  It appears that either the bumper was broken, or the owner wanted to jazz it up a bit by adding some chrome.  However, he or she did it the wrong way.  It’s difficult to see, but the owner actually used silver duct/HVAC tape!  This awful, but quick fix, makes this pickup our latest CrapWagon!

Crapwagon of the Day – The Fast and Furious Probe

June 12, 2013 at 10:56 am

Found this gem outside the office today. The Ford Probe is a terrible car to begin with,throw in the color yellow and THEN add a terrible fast and furious bodykit and you’ve got yourself a crapwagon of the top kind. I’m not sure what it’s trying to be here. Do those air intakes by the rear fender help in anyway?

probe

Crap(truck)Wagon: Ford F-150

June 10, 2013 at 11:01 am

Picture 10769

This gem was found in the South End of  Boston, an area known for it’s money, and up until this point, it’s nice vehicles.  Don’t be fooled by the bumper falling off; it actually doubled as a plow in this year’s February blizzard!  Other than the bumper, it looks to be in pretty decent condition.  However, the bumper, which is more than likely held on by zip ties, makes this Ford F-150 our latest crap wagon (Or truck)!

High Ballers Only

April 30, 2013 at 11:20 pm

Sorry for the hiatus, folks – I needed to recharge the batteries after last week’s marathon posting sessions. Today, I want to submit the best find on Craigslist in the towns surrounding Providence, RI. And with a Porsche 928, a first-generation Taurus SHO and a Mitsubishi 3000GT VR4 to compete against, credit the sellers’ vernacular for this rig taking top honors. fj60

Enter the 1987 Toyota Land Cruiser. I don’t know much about these, other than they have legendary go-anywhere abilities while Toyota internals make them near-impossible to kill. A rugged inline six-cylinder pumped out 136 screaming horsepower, which had to lug around a four-wheel drive system and 4,200 lb. + curb weight. But this was never a vehicle made for speed – it was for all-out reliability combined with impressive off-road capabilities.

This example, however, has likely been dealt the worst that nature could throw at it. Body work with splotches of primer, painted surfaces clearly weathered beyond salvageability, and no mention in the ad as to its mechanical integrity, with only the front wheels of the Land Cruiser locked into a tow dolly as any indication to its operating condition. With 194,000 miles, my guess is she’s just getting broken in.

Of course, to take this vintage FJ60 into your ownership, you’re going to want to bring your high balls. Or make certain you’re balling at a high level. Or could it be a synonym for high rollers? “Oh, Stanley? Yes, he was quite the high baller. He even had his own butler.” I don’t know, but one thing’s for certain: all of you with low balls need not apply.

Crap Wagon Twofer!!!

April 17, 2013 at 12:34 pm

While at a stop light on Melnea Cass Blvd in Roxbury, I came across a rare “twofer”! An open-wheeled BMW stopped behind a Volvo that has seen better days.

photo (1) photo

 

It appears that open-rear wheel racing is back in Roxbury!

Pinto! Found in the Fenway area of Boston

April 3, 2013 at 1:56 pm

Pinto

Here’s the latest Crap Wagon.  Found this while driving around Boston.  It appears to be a Ford Pinto.  What makes it a Crap Wagon?  Well, besides it being a Pinto with an awful gas tank design, causing punctures similar to the Ford Explorer, there is significant front end damage on the driver’s side.  Not to mention this hideous green color!

 

Your dead project. Give it to me.

April 2, 2013 at 11:53 pm

Seeing a car that has been lost, abandoned – heck, not even titled by its current owner – leaves most car-shoppers checking the box next to ‘not interested.’ For me, I see a wounded critter, a vehicle that could some day be great if someone hadn’t grazed it with some buckshot, or possibly, a mallet. That is why today’s project car find is none other than a MK2 Volkswagen GTI.

Why do I like this car? Well, it’s cheap – as in, $1,000 OBO cheap. The motor has already been swapped out for a lower mileage 2.0 8V, which, although severely overmatched by the MK3 platform it was made for, supposedly works well in the lighter MK2 shell. Plus, it’s largely bulletproof and responds well to a turbo kit, so you could do far worse.

I don’t care for the hood graphics (we get it, you bought a German car, long live the king, or Hitler, or someone), but that’s a quick fix with some rattlecan paint. In fact, why not just paint the whole thing flat black in your backyard, preferably on a breezy day with a high pollen count? Ya know, to give that paint some texture.

3K43I73H75Le5E35Mdd3v1051a54146a21492

Minor minuses come with this car, such as the lack of a title, or history of any kind. Plus, it looks like it’s limping, thanks to some finely-cut springs. But hey, we’ve all seen an attractive girl wearing a cast – amirite ? That metaphor may not work in this case, since eventually a cast comes off and there’s a brand new arm underneath; this car’s prognosis may not be quite so rosy.

Enough with the back and forth: it’s $1,000, likely cheaper when you low-ball the guy with various offers of cash and used kitchen appliances. It’s got a motor, seats, a roof and some killer single-round H4 headlights, so you can see the deer in the road right before you total your uninsured purchase and Bambi gleefully limps away.

Check it before you wreck it – 1991 VW GTI, German flag on the hood, for less than the price of some Apple products.

$10K Fantasy Garage- Matt’s Rat Boxes

April 2, 2013 at 2:01 am

I really thought this would be easier than it actually was.  I started this out with a few cars and trucks I would like and picked them.  Then when I was left with about $200, I knew I had to revamp my choices. So sit back, and enjoy my collection of rat boxes for under $10,000.

1964 Chevrolet C10 Custom Cab: $2,950

1964ChevyC10Cust Everyone needs a pick up truck, and this was the best one I could find with in this price range.  The seller says this truck runs, but the only catch is that seller bolted on fenders and put in a ’61 GMC V6 engine along with a 4 speed transmission, which only makes this truck “Yard Driveable” (for now).  This truck is a 1/2 ton, which means you’d be able to haul a lot of hay, dirt, and tractor parts in your hick truck.

 

1984 Pontiac Grand Prix: $3500

1984GP This is my fun beater- something that I can spin the tires with and impress the ladies, as long as they like old beaters whose hoods don’t latch on completely.  Pontiac has always made great vehicles, but unfortunately, due to the economy, the ceased production and this company shut down a few years ago.  Here are some vehicle specifics from the seller: recent V6 231 motor and TCI 200-4R transmission, polyurethane bushings and recent front end work.

 

1970 International Fire Truck: $2,795

1970 IntFT Of course, I would need to find an emergency beater!  This was taken out of service from a fire department in 2007.  According to the seller, it starts right up, and drives well.  In addition to this, the lights siren work, and this truck is capable of spraying foam.  The only downfall is that a warranty is not included.  If you can get over that, then you will definitely enjoy cruising down the back roads with your 5 speed manual transmission.  Surprisingly, this truck only has 2,433 miles on it, which means the call volume for this department must be extremely low.

I believe this leaves me with approximately $700 left over, which will probably be used for towing expenses when all of these break down in the middle of no where.

 

 

10K Fantasy Garage – Jonathan’s picks

March 30, 2013 at 1:41 pm

I’ll be the first to admit it, I’m not a beater guy. I like my cars new or fairly new and if it’s old, it better something somewhat nice. On top of that I’m a bit of a germaphobe, who knows who and what has been done in some vehicle that has 100K miles on it. I was expecting this to be very difficult for me, finding three cars for 10K when I’d probably have a tough time looking for one at 10K. So decided to have laugh and “buy” things that would give me some stories to tell

The Daily Driver ( I go home to my pipe and slippers buy) – 1990 Jaguar XJ6 Sovereign – $3,000

The most class you can get for three grand, so what if it’s very thirsty and the electrical system acts like coke-fuelled Lindsey Lohan. You’re going to look great when the wipers don’t work or the windows go down in the middle of  rainstorm.  When you drive a car like this, no matter how crappy it is under the hood, people are going to think you’re from old money, went to an elite private school and you or a fellow male family member is named Nigel.

This car was found on Craigslist in North Andover, MA with the contact being a guy named Damien. He either fits the description above or someone looking to upgrade their baller status. The car is clean outside and the interior shows no marks from the last fox hunt.

The Weekend Ride (Only because I have the best AAA membership and a mechanic named Ralf is eternally indebted to me) – 1988 VW Scirocco 16v – $4,200

rocco

The rule of thumb on VW’s, especially old ones is that they’re fantastic cars…when they work. Whatever you pay for car, double the cost and that’s at least your yearly maintenance cost . Scirocco’s are your typical German: great ideas but poor execution/not being able to complete the job. This one (found on ebay) is said to have a rebuilt engine, new fuel injectors, new clutch, new brakes, new water pump. What the seller didn’t say was he’s now seeing a mental health professional and had to sell a kidney to cover the costs of the repairs.

The Can’t Be Killed Rust Warrior – 1985 Toyota Land Crusier – $2990

Land Cruiser

The true definition of a beater, this SUV refuses to die; rust, zombie apocalypse  and one or two nuclear holocausts couldn’t kill this Land Crusier. It looks like hell but so bad ass at the same time. Who cares if your feet might fall through the floor and you need to make sure your shots are up to date. Take this anywhere and you get respect.

 

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